Hilary Duff has opened up about the most “devastating” parts of her private life behind closed doors, laying bare how her relationships with her father and sister have fallen apart—while also opening up about how she and her ex-husband manage co-parenting their kids.
The 38-year-old is in the midst of a career resurgence in the wake of the Feb. 20 release of her album “Luck…or Something,” which is the first multitrack record she has released in more than a decade.
Duff has earned a legion of new fans with the record launch—but she has also found herself thrown back into the spotlight, with rumors swirling about the state of her relationship with sister Haylie, ex Mike Comrie, and her “toxic” mom group, which was brutally slammed in a scathing essay penned by her fellow former child star, Ashley Tisdale, in January.
But Duff has not shied away from the controversy, instead choosing to answer many searing questions about her home life head-on, most recently during an interview with podcast host Jay Shetty on his show, “On Purpose With Jay Shetty,” in which she opened up about everything from her familial rifts to her co-parenting arrangements.
The actress and singer, who resides in Beverly Hills with her second husband, Matthew Koma, their three daughters, Banks, 7, Mae, 4, and Townes, 1, and her son, Luca, 13, from her first marriage, first turned her attention to the breakdown of her parents’ marriage—and how that impacted her own split from her first spouse.
She admitted that, when she and Comrie first tied the knot in 2010, she was ready to throw herself into life as a mother and a wife, explaining that she wanted a new “focus” in her life.
“I felt like in that time of my life, I was so ready to get married … I was ready to have a baby, I was ready to have something of my own, you know, that I could just like, focus on and it be mine,” she said.
Reflecting on her 2014 divorce from the former NHL star, she branded their separation “horrible.”
“I’ve been pretty open about, you know, being a divorced person and what that’s like, and being a single mom. Choosing to end a family is a huge, horrible choice to make. But I also co-parent … with that person. And we do a great job mostly,” she explained.
She noted that watching her own parents’ marriage fall apart when she was at the height of her fame only made her more determined that her own divorce would not dissolve in the same way, particularly when it came to how that might affect their son at home.
“My parents divorced when I was around 18. And I feel like that was a really hard time,” she shared, adding that there was “a lot of fighting” between her dad, Robert, and her mom, Susan.
“When it came for me getting divorced, I was like, ‘I’m not going to have that,'” she went on. “We’re going to do holidays together as much as we can. Not that it was always easy, but it felt way easier than the alternative.”
However, while she and Comrie stay as amicable as possible for the sake of their son, Duff said that her relationship with her parents suffered in the wake of their split—noting that her ties to her dad have crumbled to the point where they “don’t speak very often.”
“You kind of hear one side and then take from it what you believe, and you know, the same on the other. It’s really hard, I think, if a family breaks apart very dramatically. It’s hard to find your way back sometimes. And some people want to, and some people don’t,” she shared.
“To be in a family that, you know, your parents aren’t together, and you don’t have relationships with both of your parents, it’s devastating. You want your parents to feel like they care about you. And a big portion of my existence hasn’t felt like that. I don’t know if that’s the truth, but that’s how it feels.”
In addition to her parents, Duff has been involved in a yearslong feud with her sister, Haylie, who inspired Duff’s song, “We Don’t Talk.”
Speaking about their fragile relationship, Duff said, “My sister and I don’t speak. It’s very hard to be a person who’s had their life exposed in the industry for 25 years, and we were talking about, you know, that earlier tiptoeing around what the outcome has been for some of it … It’s a very vulnerable song, and it’s a very raw part of my existence. I hope it’s not forever, but it’s for right now.”
The sisters allegedly fell out following a rumored rift between Haylie’s fiance, Matthew Rosenberg, and Koma.
In addition to familial issues, Duff revealed that the early days of her stardom were tainted with judgment about her body and eating habits, something she said had an effect on the way she viewed herself.
“I was dealing with people commenting on my body at a young age and starting to get photographed and people, like, asking you how many times you weigh yourself or comparing you to people that were thinner than you or other girls in your line of work,” she shared.
“I definitely struggled for a little while there, just trying to fit a certain mold and have control over something in my life. Thankfully that was pretty short-lived. Um, but definitely toyed with it.”
In June, Duff will kick off her world arena tour—marking her first tour in over a decade.
Duff’s return to the music industry came just weeks after she found herself at the center of a bitter scandal sparked by an essay that Tisdale wrote for The Cut.
In the essay, which was titled “Breaking Up With My Toxic Mom Group,” Tisdale accused her former friend group of “always” leaving her out, adding that she felt “drained” after spending time with them.
“If a mom group consistently leaves you feeling hurt, drained or left out, it’s not the mom group for you,” Tisdale wrote. “Choosing to step away doesn’t make you mean or judgmental. It makes you honest with yourself. It’s also worth remembering that friendships, like all relationships, have seasons.”
The Disney Channel child star explained that she decided to step away from the mom group after constantly questioning why she was allegedly not being invited to the group’s events.
The tension rose to new heights when Koma took to Instagram to comment on Tisdale’s allegations.
“When You’re The Most Self-Obsessed Tone Deaf Person On Earth, Other Moms Tend To Shift Focus To Their Actual Toddlers. Read my interview with @thecut,” the DJ penned alongside a photoshopped snap of himself appearing on a fake cover of the magazine.
He titled the photo, “A Mom Group Tell All Through a Father’s Eyes.”
Tisdale’s husband then seemingly chimed in with a cryptic Instagram Stories post that read, “It’s your choice whether or not to engage.”
Duff and Koma now reside in a 5,260-square-foot dwelling in Beverly Hills, which they snapped up in 2010 for $3.85 million.
The property comes complete with five bedrooms, six and a half bathrooms, and a backyard that boasts a pool, waterslide, and chicken coop.